Alien Mummies

Alien Mummies unravels the many outlandish speculations of extraterrestrial life. And by "unravel", I mean this documentary immediately shuts down any and all eyewitness testimonies. The mysterious mummies (despite none of them actually undergoing the Ancient Egyptian process of mummification) that are showcased are a squirrel monkey, a child with an elongated skull, a raccoon and a sloth. Done. I have just exposed the truth behind the decomposed corpses. They are not aliens, yet this documentary does that stupid clichéd TV open-ended remark like "scientists have confirmed this to be a sloth, or are the eyewitness accusations actually true?". Well no, they just confirmed it's a sloth? Nothing else matters now.

There's no real compelling evidence to suggest that they are even remotely resembling extraterrestrial lifeforms (not that we would know what they would look like anyway), and that's where this documentary enables the ol' eye-rolling moments. The crappy CGI recreations of a skeletal squirrel monkey getting its forearm trapped in a pesky mouse trap, it's a work of art that rivals high-budget blockbusters such as 'Avatar'. Honestly, it's...it's beautiful. The real kick in the teeth is the plot twist at the end, where it is revealed that one of the "alien mummies" is in fact a hoax. The key witness confirming that it was indeed a dead squirrel monkey! So this moron just wasted precious science time, and mine, for what? He gained no monetisation from it. Good job. Bravo. Frickin' joker!

Yeah, this disposable short documentary is one of the worst ones I've watched on the beast that is Netflix. Not because I'm close-minded, but due to the fact it raises no intellectual compelling arguments and feels like a horrible SyFy programme. Oh wait...