Anyone else would be dead by now.
2010-04-23
$25.0M
97 min
On a mission deep in the Bolivian jungle, a team of elite commandos finds itself on the receiving end of a lethal betrayal. Now presumed dead, the men join forces with a mysterious operative named Aisha to hunt down their enemy and even the score.
Staring Negan before he was Negan, Captain America before he was Captain America, Gamora before she was Gamora, Stringer Bell after he was Stringer Bell, and two other dudes I really feel bad for as they don't have a cool name from something else...
Despite all this talent, the movie just wasn't that good. Boring action scenes with too much slo-mo, predictable plot, cringe worthy as hell jokes, and technobabble that anybody with even a passing knowledge of what's being talked about will laugh at...
So why 5/10 stars instead of less? It's stupid fun. I have to believe the corny jokes and ridiculousness of some of the scenes were done purposely... They just weren't done well. It felt like they wanted to make an over-the-top action-comedy in a comicbook style, but realized about halfway through that they'd spent all their budget on actors and the soundtrack.
We had a lot of fun watching it, but I can only recommend watching this to laugh at... Even then though, you probably have better options.
Maybe if Chris Evans played himself more - an arrogant, pretentious, nerdy, minor-role douche - he could play a better arrogant, pretentious, nerdy, minor-role douche.
This sucks.
