2022-11-09
N/A
74 min
When mysterious green slime monsters start popping out of soccer balls, all-star athletes Zlatan Ibrahimović and Megan Rapinoe must team up with their four biggest fans to stop evil scientist "Weird Al" Yankovic from stealing their talent.
The film that turns Zlatan Ibrahimović into Darwin Núñez, basically.
A cheap gag from a Manchester United supporter out the way, this is a rather bad flick. I'm not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't this. Its plot is practically <em>'<a href="https://letterboxd.com/film/the-incredible-hulk/">The Incredible Hulk</a>'</em> meets <em>'<a href="https://letterboxd.com/film/ghostbusters/">Ghostbusters</a>'</em>, which sounds way cooler than it actually is.
<em>'The Soccer Football Movie'</em> is not only boring, not only bland but also extremely tedious to sit through - though, thankfully, it only lasts for around 1hr 15minutes. The animation is very cheap-looking, something that shouldn't be so with a company like Netflix involved. Then you also have a very lacklustre voice cast.
Tania Gunadi is the only member that sticks out in my mind away from the people playing themselves, though that's probably only because I remember her from 2013's <em>'<a href="https://letterboxd.com/film/snow-bride/">Snow Bride</a>'</em>. All those alongside Gunadi are... not the best. Kieran Walton's pronunciation of Zlatan grates, also.
Yep, that's correct. Zlatan Ibrahimović voices himself in this and features fairly heavily. In all honesty he, given he isn't an actor, is actually fine, but him - alongside 'Weird Al' Yankovic and Megan Rapinoe - being your production's main star meant it was always likely to fall flat unfortunately.
This only avoids a lower rating as there are many worse films out there. Still, this 2022 release is probably one to avoid.
